What's Love Got to Do With it?

Love in Greek has one definition but six applications:

Agape - unconditional love

Eros - sexual love

Philia - love between friends

Storge - loyal love

Ludus - playful love

Pragma - longstanding love

There are certainly many scriptures we find to help us grasp the circumstances in which love is used.

What happens when you've done all you can do to love, and end up being hurt?

Almost 10 years ago, my hubby and I had just been told our associate pastor of 5 years was being asked to leave for inappropriate use of funds and the Master’s Commission interns for his personal ministry and family obligations. We had poured our time, energy, talents and tears into a Master’s Commission school to be told most of the students wanted to leave and start a ministry with the associate pastor. The wind was knocked out of me. Was this a joke?

We had the Master’s Commission Graduation the following Sunday and the pastors were removed that evening.

Now, you may say, “Sarah, that is not that big of a deal. Pastors leave for various reasons from churches ALL the time.” And I would usually agree with you, but, this was different.

One day, a parent of a Master’s Commission student happened to be in the same aisle at the grocery store. I said hello and she ignored me. I brushed it off and kept shopping. She walked by, hurriedly, and then suddenly whipped around, put her finger in my face and raised her voice. My heart started to beat very fast and I was aware of how much I was sweating(for a winter day in Alaska, that is strange).

“You know that church is cursed because of what it did! You know it will never amount to anything….”

Her words cut like a knife. Cursed? What does that mean? Clearly love was not on her agenda.

I forced a smile. I wanted to yell right back at her. I wanted to tell her exactly what I was thinking and feeling. But, one thing was whispering in my ear: 1 Peter 3:9 “Do not repay evil for evil or insult for insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.”

I said, “I appreciate your honesty. I really do not know what you mean, but, I need to go. I hope you have a good day.”

Rinse and repeat. At the bank, the store, my kids’ school, etc. On and on. Jon and I did our best to pick up each Sunday, put on a brave face and hold a service. But, to say it was hard, is oversimplifying the internal struggle we were going through. In the middle of this, we had our own family issues going on. There were so many other hurtful things that happened, but I do not want to draw attention to them. Instead, I want to give you hope that you can make it thorough. And God is so good, He never wastes ANYTHING, even the hard parts of our lives.

I know its hard to hear my personal experience. I also know my situation is not unique. It seems we ALL know someone who has been wounded by a church in today's world. As this is unfortunately very common, the Lord laid it on my heart to share practical tips to start the healing process.

My sister in law(Amber was living with us at the time) and I on girls night out-North Pole, Alaska - 2010. Two years after the ‘situation’ :)

Here are a few ways I learned to show love in hard situations:


-Do not follow my feelings. They will fail my motives and not be lined up with scripture in most instances.


-I do not gossip about the event to all my friends and family. This includes social media. This is the hardest one, but, the most important.


-Do not hold a grudge. I’ll just be honest, forgiveness is something I KNOW I am commanded to do in scripture, but, it still does not come easy to me. As I pour the hurt out to God, I am renewed and refreshed. I can now(in the words of Queen Elsa), let it go!


-Do not let the situation rob your sanity: recognize that most people are not malicious when they hurt you. And so understand the scriptures that tells us our enemy, the devil, wants to destroy our lives and will use anything and anyone to steal our joy, kill our dreams and tear apart our families. (1 Peter 5:8) Until you can show love in more obvious ways, may I suggest trying these four things while your heart is healing? Till then, put on your silly glasses, force a smile and let the healing begin!

My daughter(Paige) and I at Horizons Church, Stafford, Virginia. Mother’s Day - 2017